“One Like Us:” Discovering God’s True Love for Us


Text: Hebrews 2


Did anyone catch the season finale of the reality show, The Bachelor, last week?

I’ll fill you in on the premise: Basically, a bachelor spends two months with two dozen women contestants to find the love of his life.  During the show, he eliminates a woman until one lucky lady is left whom he wants to marry.

Ever since I heard about the show, I thought it preposterous that people would actually sign up for this show, much less buy into the premise.  This past season was the 13th season, which means that, apparently, there are many people who are eager to get on to find the love of their life.

This doesn’t include the other long-running companion show, The Bachelorette, just as ridiculous to watch. Ridiculous yes, but very addictive at times.

My wife and I watched only a few episodes this past season, and it seemed to have changed very little from previous years:  Women go around telling the cameras of how much they love the Bachelor.   She loves him, and she loves him, and she loves him.  Gosh, there’s a lot of love on that show.

Then there’s the bachelor:  He doesn’t want to hurt this one’s feelings, or break that one’s heart.  But its inevitable.

Our favorite moments of the show happen when a contestant just loves the bachelor–she wants to spend the rest of her life  with him, she wants to have his babies.  Then, as soon as she is eliminated and is driving home in the limousine, she changes her tune:  The Bachelor is the biggest jerk in the world.  He’ll never find a family because he’s rotten.  How could he be such an animal?

Well, this past finale was a real whopper.  Mr. Always-Right apparently found Miss Probably Right, and the big point of contention was that Mr. Always-Right had yet to say the big three words:  “I love you.”

Now granted, we know Miss Probably-Right loves him.  She wants to be with him for the rest of her life.  Why wouldn’t he tell her the same?  And where was that engagement ring he was supposed to offer her?

So the host spent nearly 10 minutes of the finale trying to get Mr. Always-Right to say that he loved her. The studio audience scoffed; but, Kristina and I actually thought he was being pretty smart.  I mean, here is this guy who really likes this girl, and he doesn’t want to say the big “L” word because he wants to take things slow.

I don’t know why the show’s host didn’t see this as honorable.  Out of 12 bachelors who have appeared on previous seasons, only 3 got married.  The rest broke off the relationship in less than a year.

I think the real mockery in all of this is the victim of this reality show: No, not the victim who’s wife insists that we shouldn’t change the channel to find something else worth watching.  Rather, the victim I am talking about is love.

Have we as a society become so shallow as to think that love is something you can just find on a reality show, something that is entirely driven by emotional responses to what amounts to nothing more than sensual desire?


We think that this infatuation (no pun intended) with love is new in our society.  Well, at least we think its something that erupted only in the past five decades, a result not of new psychological methods of defining love, but of the “free love” era of the 1960s.  “Peace, man.  Let’s just love one another.”

Striving for love, however, is something that has been around a long time.  We even see it as far back as the Old Testament:  Astute Bible readers will note that throughout the Old Testament, God is indeed a God of love more than the myth that the Old Testament God is a God of wrath.  But Israel fails to realize that.

God tries to convince Israel over and over again that God’s first commitment is to His people in a posture, not of fleeting, emotional love, but of “steadfast love.”  The Hebrew word is hesed, and it implies the same kind of compassionate, self-giving love as the Greek word, agape.

Yet, we find people in the Old Testament about as anxious as our lovely contestants on that reality show.  They know they want love.  They strive, and they long, and they reach for love, but find it in all the wrong places.

I can’t help but to think of the anxiety of the author who wrote Psalm 8, when he wrote of God’s love in a perplexing manner and asked, “What are we humans that you visit us?”

God visited His people.  God was intimate with His people. It didn’t seem to be enough.  Something was incomplete, not because God was incomplete but because I think God knew that something was missing in our life the minute we humans decided to sin against Him and get kicked out of the Garden of Eden.

You remember what it was like in the Garden way back in Genesis 1 and 2?  Scripture tells us that God “walked with Adam and Eve,” and spoke to them in the cool of the evening breeze.   There is an intimacy there that only the Hebrew poetry of the first few chapters of Genesis can evoke.

But then sin happened, and humans got eliminated—no roses for them.  They get into a limousine driven by angles, and then tell the camera, “Oh, who does that God think he is anyway?   That God isn’t about love after all!”

No wonder Cain killed Abel.  Imagine growing up in that household?  Might have drove me mad too.


Since the very beginning of the New Testament, however, something happens.  Something changes for us that we may not have seen coming:  God decided on a course of action that would, once and for all, reveal the extent and length and breadth of His love for us:  God visited earth in a real, flesh and blood sort of way, in the form of a baby—in the person of Jesus Christ, Emmanuel: “God with us.”

Something amazing happens.  God goes beyond merely visiting humans, God becomes ever intimate with humans.  God touches them—the lepers, the women, the children, the poor.  God heals them.  God interacts with them.  God cooks them breakfast on the shore of the sea of Galilee and gathers them around the table with scriptures on the tip of his tongue and bread in his hands.

This is the sentiment of the book of Hebrews, out of which our scripture lesson comes today.

The book is what many scholars believe to be a sermon that tells of this unfolding drama of God’s visitation to earth.  It begins like the Gospels: With a declaration that God helps conceive a Son, a beloved child, who is God’s very own, who bridges the gap between heaven and earth.

It explains in high prose and majestic poetry that, in the person of Jesus Christ, God visits humanity in a new, climactic way that inaugurates the kingdom of God as well as the divine love of God.

I am intrigued today by Hebrews 2 as the author makes some bold statements about the nature of this divine love of God.

God’s divine love doesn’t come in the form of a rose or a ring, but in the form of a cross.   Verse 13 says this:

“It was fitting that God, for whom and through whom all things exist, in bringing many children to glory, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect [or complete] through sufferings.”

In other words, in becoming human, God goes one step further with this notion of love: God loves us so much that God chooses to suffer and experience death in one of the most humiliating ways ever—on the cross—in order to express three simple words to us: “I love you.”

The language here almost evokes that something was incomplete, that the love under the Jewish law was not enough, that it still evoked feelings of longing and desire in humans that was somehow inadequate, if not too fragile.

There was something that God had to do, and that was to experience suffering and testing and temptation on our terms.


One of the hardest classes a seminarian takes is pastoral care.  Basically, it’s a class on how to do pastoral visitation without making a fool of yourself.

It’s a nerve-racking, heart-wrenching class, because PC doesn’t just give you resources for these different situations, it also tests a student’s response to those situations.

Students make visits and then write up a “case study” or the basic script of the conversation.   The student then brings copies of the case study to class, hands it out to peers and teacher alike, and basically reads through the conversation.

This is really difficult, because when you read through an actual conversation you had with someone you visited by the bedside, you start to see things that make you really insecure.

Have you ever gone into an awkward situation with someone facing hardship, and on your way out of the hospital room, you wonder whether you said the right things?  Some of you ask, “What did I even say?”

Many students who visit someone find that they say to the patient, “I know how you feel,” in order to make that person feel better.

Or a student will say, “I understand, please tell me more.”

Or, “That is terrible for you, I’m so sorry to hear that.”

You too can probably recall a time in your life when you’ve visited someone in need and said one of these things.

Now, none of these responses are bad.  In fact, if you are visiting a friend who has cancer, and you know how they feel because you’ve had cancer, then it can be very assuring and very comforting to say, “I know how you feel.”  It lets the other person know that he or she is not alone in this journey, and that you will not let them go it alone.

But for many students in pastoral care, these statements are not true.  Many students don’t understand what people are going through in times of trauma.  Many students don’t know how a person feels.  And, many students are unable to be sorry for what is happening in another person’s life; there is no way to be sorry—there is nothing the student can do to change or help the situation.

God’s love is so profound, that the only way to fully express it was to pass through the very suffering, temptations, and hardships of life so that when God says, “I love you,” God means it.   God was willing to taste the very sting of death and brokenness that touch all of our lives.  God knows what it feels like to pass through hardship; God understands; God can make a difference.

Hebrews 2:14 says it this way:  “Since, therefore, the children share flesh and blood, he himself likewise shared the same things, so that through death he might destroy the one who has the power over death, that is, the devil, and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by the fear of death.”

I wonder if those men and women go on those reality shows not just to “find love” but to fill that void in all our hearts that comes with the knowledge that all of us are, well, human.  We don’t want to be alone in life or in death.

The epistle of 1 John, often called one of the love letters of the Bible, says this about God and love:

3:16: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.”

3:18:  “Little Children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.”

4:8-12:  “Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.  God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him.  In this is love, not that we loved God but that he love us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

The biblical theme is always the same:  We get at God’s love through the very cross of Christ, by the very fact that God “knows” and “understands what we are going through.”


I’ve met a lot of people who suffer or have faced hardship who have been resentful towards God.  I can’t say that I blame them, and I certainly don’t condemn them or tell them they are wrong.  Often, I’ll just encourage people to be honest with God.

But many folks resent God because they still feel God is distant.  They feel that God is somehow detached from human affairs.  God’s only involvement, they assume, comes in the form of judgment or the dishing out of consequences for sins committed.

The sermon that is Hebrews paints a different picture:  God is so intimate, so loving, that God is directly involved with us with every step we take.   Jesus is not ashamed of this intimacy; Jesus is not ashamed to call us brothers and sisters.  Jesus was not ashamed to suffer and be humiliated on the way to death.

And Jesus is not afraid to let us bear our crosses a time or two either, because it is in our own fragility that we find the very beautiful tapestry that allows us to embrace, love, and nurture others.

I like the poem by late Archbishop of Argentina, Oscar Romero, that appears in your bulletin:

We should not wonder that a church has a lot of cross to bear.  Otherwise, it will not have a lot of resurrection.  An accommodating church, a church that seeks prestige without the pain of the cross, is not the authentic church of Jesus Christ.

Just as God’s symbol of love is the cross, so too does our symbol of love for each other and the world around us become the very crosses we bear, so that when we meet others by a bedside, we too can say, “I love you.  I am present with you, and Jesus is present with you too because He knows how you feel.  He is one just like us.”

Caregivers: Burdened and blessed, and how to move on (part 3)

Beth McLeod, caregiver and author of “Caregiving: A Journey of Love, Loss, and Renewal,” once noted, “In a culture defined by short attentions spans and sound bites, family caregiving demands investment for the long term, often an abrogation of dreams and a wholesale reconstruction of the future, one slow brick at a time.”

In other words, caregiving is a journey that is arduous, timely, and consuming.   So consuming, in fact, that being a caregiver can very well be another spiritual discipline in and of itself.   But, like many journeys, this pilgrimage is best accomplished with a community of like-minded people, one friend at a time.

Support groups help connect caregivers

Caregivers are good at caring for others, but many wonder, “Who cares for me?”  Community provides the compassionate embrace that reminds caregivers that they are not alone and that others care.  Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “Let us consider how we may inspire one another toward love and good deeds.  Let us not give up meeting together…but let us encourage one another.”

This is difficult for caregivers who do not have the time to journey with others outside of the caregiving role.  Some spend all of their time with loved ones, while others can only socialize when help is available.  Yet others do not connect with a community because they are too tired, or they use free time to simply “get away.”

These reasons are important ones in the lives of caregivers; however, these reasons are usually what lead to loneliness, exhaustion, and depression.   It is important to connect with others, even if only once a month or a few minutes each week.

God is very much concerned about the relationships we keep.  Community is a priority in Christian spiritual formation, and “koinonia” fellowships (or divine communities) are what sustain fellow believers over the long haul.   In community, we grow as individuals because we spend time with others who encourage us, built us up, empower us, and care for us.

Aside from Sunday morning worship or Sunday school, one of the ways to seek koinonia is to join a small group or weekly Bible study.  A variety of churches offer such groups, including book clubs and hobby-focused groups.

Another effective way to grow in koinonia is to join an online community.  There are many forums that emphasize discipleship and spiritual growth.  A Google search for “online Christian community” garners over 28.9 million hits.  Though an online community is not ideal for building intimate relationships, it can provide some respite while you’re home or have a laptop handy.

A third way to connect with others is to join a support group or prayer group specifically for caregivers.  Such groups provide safe, friendly environments that allow caregivers to share feelings with others.

These groups are wonderful avenues for growth because they also provide caregivers the opportunity to meet others who are going through similar situations.  Though caregivers serve different individuals, they all share common feelings and stresses.

There are groups that currently meet in Decatur, Lilburn, and Stone Mountain.  Trinity Baptist is starting a support group on Thursday nights, beginning September 30th, at 7 PM  (a second group is starting Thursday afternoons early October).

As caregiving becomes more necessary for our aging population, I want to invite you to  actively pursue God’s presence in your life, pray honestly about the struggles you face, and connect with people who will walk with you on your journey.  Churches throughout our county stand ready to help; its just a matter of reaching out and letting your pastor or friends know how they can respond to your needs accordingly.

Trinity Baptist Church is hosting the open house of the Center for Caregiver Spirituality on September 30th, 7 PM.   Click on the link for more details.

Pursue peace with everyone, even people you dislike

Be honest: There are people whom you don’t like. There are others who simply annoy you, or maybe there are those who really get on your nerves. All of us have come across people we don’t get along with.

We try to do our best to behave well. We are nice and say the things we should. But when the day ends, there are no magical sparks, no chemistry.

I learned a long time ago that I will not make friends with everyone. That does not mean I can’t be nice to everyone; a smile, handshake and word of encouragement are easy enough. Yet, good diplomacy does not immediately translate into lasting friendships.

The Bible is clear that no matter what type of person with whom we come into contact, that we are to be at peace with everyone. The book of Hebrews tells us: “Pursue peace with everyone, and the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that … no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and through it many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:14-15).

This scripture assumes that there is a difference between simple disagreement and serious bitterness. People can disagree, but bitterness is a root that cuts deeper into a relationship. Bitterness occurs when an enduring conflict festers because people do not seek reconciliation in the midst of hard feelings and profound rifts.

Bitterness is so destructive that it often becomes a toxic element in an entire community. The conflict spreads and people take sides. Communication breaks down, and assumptions replace realistic goals for healing.

Have you ever had a conflict that grew like a weed in the garden of your life to the point that it choked out the beautiful aspects of your community of friends or family?

There are several rules that we Christians can abide by in order to keep the root of bitterness from infecting communities. The first rule is to abide by a biblical roadmap for reconciliation. In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus gives specifics in order to handle conflict. He commands us to go to the person directly. He does not tell us to go to our friends; he does not say that we should build alliances.

Most of us do not even get as far as meeting with the immediate person involved in the conflict. We create excuses for why going to the person is a bad idea: he or she may react in an unreasonable manner; he or she may not listen or may misunderstand us.

It’s when we do not go to the person involved that bitterness takes hold. The other person may not know that there is a problem with him or her in the first place, and the person does not have the opportunity to make things right.

Another rule is to handle conflict promptly and appropriately. E-mailing a person about a conflict is not necessarily appropriate. People can misread the tone of an e-mail or mistake just how serious the conflict really is.

In some instances, a phone call may not suffice either. I personally prefer to handle conflict face-to-face. This allows me to communicate peace with words and use body language to express warmth and healing.

Whenever you find yourself in conflict, do not give it time to grow into full-fledged bitterness. Sure, we may get annoyed with one another here or there, but handling conflict with tact and directness is the only way to keep our communities from becoming, in the words of sacred scripture, “defiled.”